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To be more porous…

Back in 2013, we were all in a different place, and we’ve all grown a tad since then.

This November (2018) I’m practising ‘Movember’: Movember is a charity tackling suicide prevention, mental health, and cancer.

Growing a ‘tash? It will be a meager offering I assure you, but perhaps the ‘practise’ is what counts. Silly perhaps yes, but being mindful of our physical presence, our breathe, our growing essence, might be a catalyst to something more real.

{This post is a lot of waffle… – forgive me I know not what I do!}

‘Growth’

There’s nothing quite like daily-life and the juggling of our responsibilities, our fears, and our hopes; the kids, the bills, the community, the salesman, the gifts, the rough-sleepers under the bridge, the rules, yesterday, the rouges, the plastic, the family, tomorrow…  There’s nothing quite like daily-life to illuminate both moments of pride and the many moments that we fail to be what we might wish to be. I fall short so so often.

Back in 2013, relating to #HolyHabits, I wrote that “in recognizing that we fall short, we can stand tall”

The choreographer Agnes de Mille said “To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful. This is power, it is glory on earth and it is yours for the taking”

Perhaps in recognizing that we fall short, we can stand larger, more beautiful, in a glorious light.

I wrote before, that growth is an ongoing process. Growth is life. Life can be abundant, chaotic, beautiful and random. You cannot tame a storm, but you can adjust your sails and live through it. Life requires ongoing mindfulness, growth happens. Re-cognition of life creates and promotes further growth. Respect* for life and growth allows us to dance! (*If I might use such an old-fashioned word – courtesy is another.)

Perhaps in recognizing that we fall short, we can stand larger, more beautiful, in a glorious light.

It’s easy to theorise about life the universe and everything. Real practise, cultivation, and discipline might help us create and sense value. Being mindful of our physical presence, our breathe, our growing essence might be a catalyst to something more real. Awareness of our essential position within our environment, our household, and community might be a start. Yes, we will always fall short of perfection, we are essentially raw and wild.

In his book The Journey Home, Simon Parke talks of our ‘essence’ being the truth about ourselves.  Under (or above) the untruthful personality mask told to ourselves, our essence is without culture and time, our essence is possibility… a powerful prowling lion. Simon talks of our unhelpful personality; moulded by distorted cultural needs, expectations and opinions. Our personality is a scavenger living off scraps.

Life is more than our personality. True life is essentially larger, more beautiful, more powerful, more glorious.

Sometimes we come across things in daily life that resonate; vibrate, sparkle, have energy… I love it when I find such treasures.  I recall a respected university art lecturer of mine talked about collecting little treasures and the childlike view of art.  A friend who honestly ministers in the Methodist Church talks of ‘glimpses’, of what she calls God. A similar energy I think.  I recently heard Bono talking about the idea of being “vulnerable, porous and open”.  The word ‘porous’ really struck me.

Perhaps to grow well (live well) we need to be more porous, allowing things in and through. Not grasping, but keeping the hands open. Not clinging but keeping the arms outstretched.

What Antony De Mello said is often true, “wake up”: “…they die in their sleep without ever waking up. They never understand the loveliness and the beauty of this thing that we call human existence. Though everything’s a mess, all is well. …tragically, [many] people never get to see that all is well because they are asleep. They are having a nightmare.”  ‘Waking up’ makes space infinite, makes time infinite, waking up creates growth.

As Ezra Bayda said “What happens when we slow down and pay attention? Everything! Innumerable delights are right at hand.”

I love Simon Parke’s illuminating story; put her down at the river bank… stop carrying her.

As Agnes de Mille said “To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful. This is power, it is glory on earth and it is yours for the taking”. (And giving?)

The ‘tash will be a meager offering, but perhaps it’s the activity or practice that counts.

 

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Have a heart…

It’s an ongoing, daily, or even hourly practice!

Travelling, or indeed ‘being’, with a ‘mindful’ approach.

Mindful of ‘yourself’, mindful of ‘the space you inhabit’, mindful of ‘what you share’, and mindful of the ‘conflictus differentia’ that one encounters!

Where possible, I now cycle on the cycle-path if it’s available and usable. However, daily I need to join the stream of traffic when cycleways are not available.

20130321-215139.jpgTravelling with ‘the traffic’ (a passenger?), is quite a different prospect to simply travelling.
‘Being’ with the traffic, (the common consciousness?)is quite a different prospect to simple pilgrimatic being.

We are surrounded by ‘stuff’. The stream picks you up and you find yourself pulled by the “gotta get a double seat” milieu that surrounds you. Loud opinion, aggressive obstacles, disregard, covert gossip, music, art, popular consumption, empty promises, amplified surface, hidden depths, bling, gestures, advertising, glum faces, abstract expressions, connection, happyville, disconnection… and creme eggs! (and the like)

It’s taken me a long time, and I am not there yet, to truly move from a driverly approach to a new more ambulant(?), contented(?), endowed(?) perspective and outlook.

Yes, “drive” is what gets things done, but a mindful drive might be more fruitful.
“Every good tree bears good fruit” through a process of simple interaction, fecundity and growth.
Less haste and less speed!.
Perhaps Solomon said it first “diligence leads to riches as surely as haste leads to poverty” .
Creativity is most prevalent when one looks outside of the familiar (routine).

Mindfulness – stop, relax, breath.
The beat of your heart – we are all too often picked up be a pseudo heartbeat, pulse of the new.
The beat of the music, the media, the entertainment, the beat of information… it’s not our heartbeat, but often it takes over and we become part of it’s hypnotic ways.
Where your treasure is there is your heart also…

Rediscover your heart beat! an ongoing, daily, or even hourly practice!

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holy habits?

JPRWhiteonWhiteOK ‘discipline’, again…

I like the idea of ‘soft discipline’ (it’s best if you), but dislike ‘hard discipline’ (you should). Don’t we all?

We all subscribe to cultural norms whether we buy the t-shirts or not, and in turn we all soft or hard
discipline ourselves to think in certain ways.

I shy away from many harder disciplines especially superstitious, ritualistic historical ways.

I guess there always has to be motive, or reason.

For the last few weeks I have made the decision to “shave my facial hair” almost daily (otherwise known
as my “shrew”). To be clean shaven – not something that I have made a habit of in the past.

I have been entertaining the idea of ‘habits that help focus the mind’.

This is not for aesthetic, religious, or practical reasons – but as a trigger to remind me of ‘mindfulness’.

At first this seemed an odd idea, but it has produced effect.

I can’t pinpoint what effect, but it’s “a decision”, a catalyst, that reminds and projects onto one’s world
view.

It requires time and action. It’s a physical, visual, sensual and personal act. But what have I associated it
with?

Attitude, worth, image, health, cleanliness, imperfection, routine…

As a single act it’s relatively meaningless, but when combined with other ambitions it seems to resonate.

It reminds you of growth, change, time, nature…

It reminds you of ablution, presentation, countenance…

It requires a daily decision, growth just happens…

To be wild, to sculpt an image, or to cleanse and routinely resolve towards clarity… ?

#holyhabits ?

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last ‘bike’ post for a while…

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I’m a tad tired of banging on about ‘riding my bike’ – and I expect u r too.
And so, last ‘bike’ post for a while (perhaps).

I use the phrase ‘riding my bike’ because the term ‘cycling’ has accumulated so much baggage over the last year.  I do not see myself as a cyclist any more than you consider yourself a driver. I simply ride my bike to work and back. And go for the occasional spin round the block.

As mentioned before, I have made the transition from a road-based cycle commute to a person-based cycle commute.  It’s an ongoing work-in-progress, it’s taken a year so far, to reform my mindset from a driver’s road-based travel to a more contented alternative.

Driving habits are too dangerous for most roads to accommodate pedal bikes.
The drivers’ mindset/habit is not healthy (indeed often unhealthy), whether driving, riding, walking or just waiting in a queue.
It’s hard to remove oneself from the ingrained mentality of gotta be, gotta have, gotta be in front, gotta move on, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really, really wanna zigazig, I need to be somewhere else, I need other… It’s linked with the ‘idea’ of success, achievement and ambition. But is it wholesome, necessary or truly successful?

There is an alternative which requires two things:
(i) to realise a renewed perspective on the act of travelling and being.
(ii) implementation of travel facilities (new ways) that accommodate modes other than motor vehicles.

I ended a previous post: I’ll have to risk the possible prang at 10mph on an estate road rather than the potential ‘prang’ at 30mph on the best road. This is misjudged and perhaps should be: I now seek to travel in a more amiable way.

I also ended a previous post: A new route with many low speed hazards and manoeuvres. Old route occasional high-speed potential killers. This is misjudged also and perhaps should be:  While there are hazards to be aware of one now seeks to negotiate rather than manoeuvre.

I ended a previous post with 4 questions:
Should cyclists freely share space on the road?
Current answer: yes, but equality is currently rarely achievable.
Should cyclists be given road-quality cycling space elsewhere?
Current answer: I think it’s possibly a workable healthy alternative.
Should cyclists be happy with 3rd rate white-lined gutters?
Current answer: no, where possible they should be implemented, but note; road users frequently don’t observe ‘white lines’.
Should cyclists just shut up and get on or off their bike?
Current answer: perhaps cyclists might pipe down, but that’s a subjective anti-lycra opinion – More importantly people who are so inclined should where possible get on and off their bikes and discover new ways.

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We cycle to know we are not alone…

As you know I cycle. However (bear with me),  cycling as a sport is not my thing. I don’t find the spin and whirl of the latest chrome or carbon gadgets specifically exciting, I don’t find the latest audacious audax or spritely sportif of interest, “different chevaux for different courses” I guess.

Cycling for me is a way of travelling, getting from a to b, but also it can be a catalyst to seeing the world and your place in it in a new way. Not easy to summarise, it’s essentially an ongoing experience, but over the last year or so I have discovered a few notable (and readable) cycling related reads.


One of my first finds was “The Bicycle Book” by Bella Bathurst.

It’s a great read on the essence of the bike and bicycling. I’d suggest an essential starter.

“What is it about the bicycle that so enchants us? And why do its devotees become so obsessed with it?
A journey through cycling’s best stories and strangest incarnations. A brilliantly engaging portrait of cycling’s past, present and…”

 

It’s all about the bike” by Rob Penn was another good read.

A great enthusiastic study and search for the best in cycling without overdoing the technical.
“the bike’s story, from its cultural history to its technical innovation to the fascinating colourful stories of the people who ride it…. with humor, humility, and authoritative intelligence… a rare and precious portal to the heart and soul of bike culture and its surprising footprint on all of culture”
.

Recently found, and I’m still reading, a lighthearted but enlightening read “The Enlightened Cyclist“.

TEC

Making me smile and think…
“Discussing the trials and triumphs of bike commuting with snark, humor, and enthusiasm: If we become better commuters, will that make us better people?”

It’s great when you find the reading of books build on each other. Indeed, when unrelated books enforce each other and start to agree and colour a picture in your mind, then life can seem more real.
In “Shadowlands” we imagine C S Lewis “we read to know we are not alone”.
I suggest we also can cycle to know we are not alone.

Onwards!

Incidentally, TBB borrowed from the local library, IAATB and TEC via KoboBooks.
I guess the drawback to readers of the ebook paradigm shift is that I can’t lend you the book to read…! ?
*** Incidentally, 5 years on and I read real books, the e-reader needs charging ***

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mindfulness…

Addendum to the below:
What a load of rollocks I write. The old brain really does concoct some crap.
 Sunday evening, and just trying to sift the crap out of the way.
 There’s not much to it really is there? Tomorrow will bring what it brings, yesterday is past.
 My brain’s problem is it’s looking for something that’s not there. That’s art for you.
 I am breathing, I can taste flavour, I feel warmth, I can expect treasures, I have painted stones and walnut whip, slumbered children and a smile from the wife, popcorn tv, infotainment … breath…
 I am breathing, I feel warmth…

And so…

Recently mulling stuff about mindfulness; all’s well and good, but acceptance, tolerance and awakening are the watch words. At first glance a new perspective seems to deny confrontation, conflict, and argument, but how can one progress, create or develop through or around obstacles, with an ‘accepting’ attitude?
The bullish energy of selfishness and the quick-fix attitude of the post-modern ego seem stronger than the river of peace… Yes, the turbulence that the enthusiastic will can create, can cause storms and depressions, and the self might be lucky to realise that one’s ego and desire is limiting. Reality is often buried under constructions and stories. I love stories, I love creativity, but it seems too much of a good thing can crash the operating system.

Personally, a defragment, clean-up and review of subscriptions has worked wonders. Yes, the chemicals are still needed to keep the sparks firing. As Mr. H says, we all need specific clothes.
And so…
Clothed with what’s needed, with a mindful view of the stream, how do we tackle the debris, constructions and faults we perceive? Do we continue, solitary, with friends, on the low-road with views of the river? Do we venture to the heights with chosen weaponry? How do we love it?

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Consider the birds of the air?

Yes, I’m occasionally guilty of unhealthy attitude, impaired perspective and disappointing reaction, aren’t we all?

Consider the person in front and the one behind?

Reconsidering one’s perspective can be a slow process. Perception can be blurred and clarity can be lost for a while. Perhaps that’s why sometimes it might be hard, seem not possible, or even not an option.

Is deference compatible with difference?  Is love compatible with life?

I’m starting to consider if riding a bike is incompatible with modern road attitudes. It’s compatible with the written rule of the road but all too often that (common sense) is forgotten in the heat of the moment.

Having moved from road-cycling to commuting on the cycle-path/back-road route, I find you encounter more of people and more real-life. The previous route was a traffic route, even though it was part rural and mainly b-roads etc it was flowing traffic, and in retrospect the mindset was ‘driverly’ – arguably it had to be, to join with the flow. After a year, I came to realise that someone cycling might not survive with the current general dominant attitude of ‘drivers’ (on this route) and to be safer, I moved to the new route.

On the new route I now interact more; I ride a “5 lollypop-lady route”, I say ‘morning’ etc to 4 of them. I pass children who exchange smiles and ‘youff speak’. I meet dog-walkers with various salutations. I exchange gestures of acknowledgment with drivers at numerous junctions. Generally people are glad to be alive when given the opportunity. However, on the new route, I also see all sorts of all sorts, yes there’s still the problematic driverly attitude, but also there are still crazy cyclists, unobservant pedestrians, dizzy kids, and unconsidered attitudes.

It seems obvious to say that the challenge is not drivers, it’s not cyclists, it’s not pedestrians, it’s not young people, the affluent, arty, sporty or any other group, stereotype or sub-culture…  The challenge is perspective and attitude – both mine and yours.

It’s not one’s mode of transport, one’s choice of attire, one’s hairstyle, age or preferred drug – it’s one’s perspective, attitude and reaction.
It’s the not just my attitudes that need discipline (love?), it’s also the attitudes one encounters… it takes two to tango. Yes, some attitudes are just hard to believe. It often seems difference has usurped deference and survival of the fittest, brightest, shiniest, richest is often perceived king (or queen).

Yes, I’m occasionally guilty of unhealthy attitude, impaired perspective and disappointing reaction. Even with good intentions, in the heat of interaction, reactions can be inconsiderate. I guess the key is aiming to stay warm but minimise the heat?

Thoughts;
In the heat of interaction “I AM” - Images cause Assumption which causes Motivation (and reaction).
Alas, you will always find some attitudes and characters that are intolerable.
The interaction between things is what makes them fecund.
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Other people’s shoes…

Reflecting on the ordinary amongst the extraordinary…

The Methodist Church have asked each District to make a prayer symbol to help people to support the Olympics, Paralympics & Cultural Olympiad in prayer.
Rachel Parkinson (of Leicester North Circuit) and her team approached me with the engaging idea: “Put yourself in their shoes…

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Put yourself in their shoes simply features 8 images of people and their shoes…

The posters will be displayed in more than 100 community buildings across the district.
The images will also be reflected on in presentations and worship events across the region.
Thanks goes to Leicester College photography students for some of the photos.
I simply designed the graphics and artworked the posters etc.

“The Games” will no doubt focus, elevate and trumpet, extraordinary achievements in the next few months, which indeed should be marvelled at, celebrated and applauded.
These posters will hopefully act as a catalyst causing us to reflect and remember the ordinary in, under, amongst and over the extraordinary phenomenon of the next few months’ Olympiad.

The posters underpin the reflections with the idea “As shoes for your feet put on whatever will make you ready to share the gospel of peace” from Ephesians Ch.6 v15

TheirShoesTonyWalker
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We are what we eat…

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For a considerable time I subscribed and imbibed regular podcasts and playlists.
I enjoyed them, but perhaps I was overdosing on ear fodder. There’s listening and there’s gorging…
Around the time that some call lent, I stopped the regular ipod on my commute.
Initially I missed the stimulating drip of tunes and chatter, the warmth of ideas and rhythms.
It was not long, however, before I realised that the bigger canvas existed outside the bubble of my subscription.

I have recently encountered quite a selection of earworms.
I find myself inaudibly humming the kids’ recent discoveries: tie me kangaroo down, everything’s Rosie… I find my new choir pieces involuntarily sneaking upon my neurons… “It’s a new season…” is more welcome than “Dora the Explorer”. Of course the radio is still on the menu and tunes will re-emerge after exposure hours previous. Where did that come from!?… I haven’t even heard any Lionel Ritchie since New Year’s eve 2 years back! And where else can you get ‘every breath you take’ mixed with ‘fire starter’…

As well as earworms, I seem to host neural ghosts from films and books that I’ve read. Scenarios and ideas that just reappear to merge with real life and enhance or clash with my perspective. What’s real anyway? I do try to limit the pop reality xtalent type tv, one can only take so much candyfloss popcorn before it causes stomach cramp, but a little processed saccharin’s ok, I guess. So…. my worldview is collaged with BBC natural history, escapist action novel, Radio 4 academia, filmic devices, cycling advertorial, unresolved plot lines, twitterings, desert island thoughts… etc.

I guess my thought is that we’re exposed to such a choice of infotainment streams that are all to readily available.
There is choice, we can decide on a diet that feeds our world…

We are what we eat

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Worship?

I commented on “worship” last October: taking a bath the interaction between things is what make them…

I recently saw someone comment that they “NEED to worship God”, that when they begin to worship “something happens within me… natural selfishness gets kicked out the back door and my heart* opens up to the transforming, powerful, grace-filled-love* of God*.  …it reminds me… that all of the responsibilities and struggles I take on are in his-hands*, and that I can trust him to walk-with-me* and not abandon me, to give me the words and the strength.  …to remember the love-he-has-for-me*, to be open to the work of the Holy-Spirit* and to remind myself that he is that centre. Worship helps me to know that I-am-loved*, and it sets me free to love others, and to see the grace-of-God* at work in the world around me.” 

They commented: “so often in discussions about worship we have a tendency to make worship about us and not about God. …it is important that we don’t forget what it is for and who it is about. In worship God becomes greater and I-become-less*…     I need to worship!”

(I have concerns with some of these * notions)

My admittedly imperfect perspective might be as follows:
I need to worship (to adore, revere, respect, devote, admire, venerate, celebrate?) the thing /notion/sense/power(?) that is bigger than us all”.
When I recognise the reality of otherness and possibilities, it helps to refocus on the bigger picture and review perspectives, attitudes and opinions in a fresh way.
To repeatedly recognise the fabula (story) of ‘life’, and reappraise the sjužet (discourse, perspectives, attitudes, opinions – interaction) can enrich the poor, liven the dead, and can make the blind see.
To review the selfishness that often hinders creativity and open up to the transforming, power of reconsideration.
Life is limited but the clouds move.
This worship reminds me that I am relevant in daily the interaction and it sets me free to let others be.
Worship is about us as part of the fabula and yes, it is important that we don’t forget our place in things.
In worship, life becomes greater and we become more real…        we need to worship!”

(None of this considers the euphoria, endorphins and satisfaction induced by standing and singing etc – that’s another topic.)