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Hope, trust, breath, life?

When the sun’s out, we can be content with the things we recognise; the patterns, habits, and narratives or stories that give meaning to stuff. These everyday assurances or comforts will differ from person to person.
Occasionally the sun is not out – sometimes assurances break down. Our assumptions, the things we rely on being there, may simply fail to stand up as we knew them previously, (or we might begin a process of deconstructing failing myths). This has happened for many people recently. The everyday things that our days revolved around have been shaken. Usual routines canceled, expectations for the future canceled, opportunities canceled, assurance that all will be well… postponed.

Leicester, East Midlands, UK ©Julesprichards

When all hope seems lost, where do we look to for hope? Thankfully, some stories can be held on to. Family, friendship, community, food, nature, music, etc. But for some, even these essential things are distant, fragile, and difficult to find.
In the extreme story of Noah and his friends, where would they have found hope that all was not futile? They must have felt vulnerable. All they had were stories from their past, each other, a big boat, a lot of heartless water, limited supplies, nowhere to anchor, and the prospect of imagining some vision of what the future might bring.
There are lots of real-life stories of people who have held on to hopes in unimaginable circumstances. Terry Waite. Anne Frank. Nelson Mandela. Alice Herz-Sommer. There is also the lady at work… The man down the street… People who have been through tough circumstances that we may never experience.
If we have little we can rely on from our past, and the future is canceled, what we do have is ‘our present’.
I come from a country deeply influenced by Christian culture. It’s currently a time of year that some people celebrate Easter.
‘On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked in fear, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!”.’ John 20 v 19
Everything they had hoped for had been canceled. But their hope ‘came and stood among them’.
In the story of Noah and his friends, the dove ‘returned to him in the evening…’, their hopes were renewed.
The dove returned to be with Noah, a spirit returned and was with the frightened disciples, our hopes might be found with us, if we are able to clear the confusing view of broken comforts and faulty promises, and if we are able to accept signs of life.

My young daughter said that hope is ‘strength’.
A friend suggested that hope “…invites us to be fully present in each moment”
In my mindful meditations, I try to find hope in the breath of life. Let’s face it, our breath (momentary life) is an essential thing to be celebrated, moment to moment.
Perhaps if we can see life… breathe, and breathe again… then, hopefully, we can build on that assurance and give a little smile?
I was lucky to be “with” a musician last night when he energetically revived the somewhat resigned tones of Phil Ochs; “My days won’t be dances of delight when I’m gone… guess I’ll have to do it while I’m here…”. You’ll have to take my word for it but ‘you had to be there’.
I ‘hope’ we’ll be able to recognise “the golden of the sun…” when it shines.

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working on Hope…

We’ve been thinking about Hope* recently… I’ll put some thoughts down soon…

But in the meantime, trying to take our minds off the cares and concerns of April 2020, we got messy…

Palm Sunday 2020, not much to do, and so we sketched an idea of how we thought some Hope might look.

We ALL got our hands wet…

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And a combination of masking, sticking, printing, spraying, etc. we came up with ‘hope’, visually at least…

We would like to say we are truly thankful to all those working in difficult conditions at the moment. We really do wish well to all those feeling isolated, displaced, out of routine, and shaken, by the changes we’re all facing.

As my daughter said, “I think hope is ‘Strength’…”, we wish everyone strength.

Can I add, what the pictures don’t show, that the above was achieved amongst chaos, frustration, annoyance, argument, worry, boredom, fear, disruption and uncertainty… …which continues now. But we still try to rest in a hope that what we know to be true will prevail.

*Hope? Morning, Is All Well?

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Morning…

A friend asked me to think about an image for sharing, that evokes hope, life, renewal…?

At this time when constructs and assumptions we have relied on and perhaps taken for granted, what gives us hope?

I asked a few people, and a common response seemed to be nature and the beauty of creation. “Nature; birds, clouds, fresh green grass, new leaves showing on trees, fresh flowers emerging from the leaf litter, a new cycle of life”. I agree. But, the hope of nature might be questionable in the light of current biological natural events.

An overwhelming response was that hope could be seen in our children. I guess it’s the innocence, optimism, and energy they reflect. Someone said “Children of all different colours, races, creeds, coming together to make the world a better place”.  That would be nice.

Others again focused on nature; Springtime, Sunrise (hope of a new day), Rainbows….just something about them! Flowers/greenery. Birdsong. My dog. A chrysalis. Chocolate. The sun. Blue sky and sunshine. Tulips. Music. Singing. Grace. The promise of Spring. Memories. Stars at night?

One person said, knowing that bad things don’t last forever… (like my singing)

Perhaps what all these things have in common is energy!

All of the above are hope-filled pictures of growth and energy. 

My daughter said ‘hope’ was ‘strength’. Which I liked.

Our hope is in the energy to brighten, to mend, to move, to enrich, to empower… Whether you enjoyed it or not, you have to admit that Joe Wicks energised people recently (he did in our household).

The energy of life, being alive, if we could bottle it!!!? And share it?

Morning… like the first morning

Blackbird… like the first bird

Sweet the rain… sunlit from heaven

Ours is the sunlight…

Ours is the morning…

Praise with elation, praise every morning…

The recreation of the new day.

 

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Is all well?

Amongst the raw anguish and alarm, Spring is here.

It’s impossible to say anything that makes much sense of current events.
We hear again this week of friends that have passed away. We hear this week of friends in desperate fear. We hear of all kinds of injustice and raw dejection.  

But, away from the noise, do you not sense a faint almost tangible hope. 

“All shall be well… and all manner of things shall be well…”

How on earth can all things possibly be well?

Last year I read Simon Parke’s ‘The Secret Testament of Julian’. A 14th-century anchoress in Norwich, Julian lived in a cell for forty years, surrounded by plague, misogyny, inequality, violence, and bigotry. You may like to read it, Simon paints a vivid picture.  In her ‘Revelations of Divine Love’, Julian of Norwich struggled with a resonating idea that “All shall be well… and all manner of things shall be well…” In her writing she struggled for a dozen or so chapters; how on earth can all things possibly be well? Despite her petitions, she had a hope and confidence in something more. 

“It is well, with my soul”.

I occasionally find myself repeating the song line It is well, with my soul”.

Though the traditions and rituals seem to have no part in contemporary culture, I was brought up with an idea that possibly there’s more to this world than our worldly bling. The song “It Is Well With My Soul” was written by Horatio Spafford in the 1870s after several traumatic events in his life. Spafford had lost his son in a fire, his business interests struggled, he then lost his four daughters when their ship sank crossing the Atlantic to Europe. I cannot grasp the reflections in the rest of the song but the haunting refrain ‘It is well, it is well, in my soul’ sticks with me.

Yes, all is really not well…
But, all manner of things shall be well.
It is well, it is well, with my soul. 

What I try to hold on to, what sometimes helps me through, is a simple complicated trust. Despite our arguments, despite our judgment and condemnation of many harsh realities of life, a trust in wellness, a hope in the largeness of less, a trusting recognition of what is immediately here with us now.
It’s not easy. 

Pause… breathe in, hold on to that breath and close your eyes, exhale slowly…. 

Pause… breathe in, hold on to that breath…       exhale slowly….

Hold on to that breath… 

It’s difficult… but if you can find a way past the noise… …relinquish the arguments and petitions, the needs and wants we grasp for, and… like the Spring try to just be.

It’s a complicated simple trust… open the grasped hand and we might, hopefully, receive Spring.

 

LifeTree-01

 

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Usefullessness

Facts are all well and good (except the poor and bad ones). Yes, understanding and concepts can help us navigate the wilderness. Despite a big lack of trust in the constructs around us, I do personally ‘hope’ there’s more… 

I wrote last week that it is down to us, to rise above the cold, hostile, meaningfullessness and grasp the sparkle. To see the fairy tales beyond the immobility of the dark teatime of the soul. To toy with grander narratives.

I mentioned how I was moved ‘emotionally’ by stuff, it colored my logic…  Stuff enchanted me. I added narrative, character, meaning, prospects to the stuff in front of me. 

An acquaintance recently pointed out Shakespeare’s verse  “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”  …there are always limits to our understanding, limits of language, limits of concepts. Yes, we have answers to many questions, but there are limits to which any ‘philosophy’ can address an idea. It is intellectually dishonest to try and deny this… (?)

After their usefullessness, the failure, corrosion or temporality of many constructions lead us ultimately back to ‘the drawing board’.

Thank god for the expression and application of human questioning, creativity, reconstruction, randomness, and imagination… as well as the facts, realities, and certainties we build our worlds on.

Breathe, and reach for the moon. If in fact, it’s still there. 😉

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Name it tame it – emotions

Pause… breathe in… breathe out… relax… 

Yes, sometimes this is easier said than done!

In the busyness, you don’t always get time to answer the question “How are you feeling right now?”  In fact, you probably rarely ask how are you feeling ‘right now’?

After the event, we can reflect on what happened, but at the time of the incident, right at the moment when the car cut you up, the competitive dig cut in, the computer said no, words riled you, or the heat of the moment got the better of us, it’s hard to pause, breathe in… and ‘take a moment’. Or is it?

Research shows, that we are all almost constantly engaged in some form of emotion regulation, controlling our emotional responses to stimuli.  

People rarely identify the spectrum of emotions we encounter daily. It’s been said, sometimes we move towards taking monotone photographs of the very colorful scenes that our lives experience.

If we can recognise that we are feeling/thinking emotionally, we can sometimes momentarily take a step back. By specifically naming an emotion, we can notice and put space between us and the experience.

In the words of  Dan Siegel “Name it to tame it.”  Being mindful of a specific emotional moment can give us a chance to notice and name the emotion. If we can see it, then we don’t have to be it. It can be more complex, an emotion that might seem like anger, might intact stem from embarrassment or guilt. However, with the initial step of recognition, we can hopefully disengage from the emotion a tad. We can choose to react more helpfully, rather than reacting “emotionally” to the neurochemical burn.

Plutchik-wheel.svg
By Machine Elf 1735 Own work 

 

When you find yourself getting tense, or you lose sight of your breathing, perhaps you are slipping into monotone. 

If we can recognise the colour of this emotion, perhaps it might help us to pause, breathe in… breathe out… relax, and name the emotion

Yes, we all get swept away in emotional currents (and sometimes this is good!)  But noticing unhelpful emotions might be a life-changer.

 

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An Enchanted Lake

…cold, malevolent, and fantastic as a fairy tale. 

Everyone’s so miserable today… said a colleague, and yes there was a milieu of grey in the air.

In part perhaps, due to the weather… and the media’s bounty of doomy uncertainty.

“It’s down to us…” I said in a rare moment of clarity. And it is down to us, to rise above the cold, malevolent prospects and grasp the sparkle, the fairy tale beyond the immobility of the dark teatime of the soul. A grander narrative.

This week I was lucky to hear Anatoly Lyadov’s – The Enchanted Lake, “A Fairy Tale Scene” thanks (again) to Petroc Trelawny and BBC Radio 3‘s Breakfast. Lyadov wrote to a friend about the piece “…how clear, the multitude of stars hovering over the mysteries of the deep. …no entreaties and no complaints; only nature –  cold, malevolent, and fantastic as a fairy tale.”

The piece grabed me. I love the idea of no proclamations, no fanfare, no brash bling. Only nature. Nature in its cold raw state… …the sparkle of hope can only be found when we add narrative to the nature, add character, meaning, prospects to the scene. Since early humans labeled the stars, and painted walls, and told stories of hope…  it is down to us, to rise above the cold grey doom and grasp the sparkle, the fairy tale, the bright breakfast of the soul. Celebrate a grander narrative tale if we can…

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Homemade Cheesecake

I love music. That’s not to say I crave noise, often music with bigger gaps between the notes is more effecting than the rattle & hum of a rocking dopamine fest. Though that can be good too!

I’ve blogged naive thoughts about music before. Search ‘music‘.

Psychologist Steven Pinker wrote, “music is auditory cheesecake, an exquisite confection crafted to tickle the sensitive spots…” – what would we do without cake!

Others have said music gratifies our pattern-seeking impulse… what would we do without ‘pattern’, or constructed meaning, or some form of tangible narrative.

Enough! I know not what I do.

But I do like to make a slice of cheesecake. All be it with bits in, far from perfect, and not fit to serve to the connoisseur.

I do it for personal therapeutic reasons. Yes, it reaches other levels when it can be shared and others can enjoy the experience, and likewise when you can share in others’ communal cake!  But for now, it’s a personal thing that helps to keep me sane.

When the day that lies ahead of me, seems impossible to face, when someone else instead of me, always seems to know the way…
Then I look at you, and the world’s alright with me, and I know it’s gonna be…

Homemade cheesecake:

It’s not always sunny and calm… whatever you’re going through… I wish you well!

More homemade cheesecakes here: Julesprichards SOUNDS

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Amaryllis

What is there to say? Except it’s quite a blooming marvelous sight…

3 weeks… from January 20th through Feb 8th our kitchen window saw the blooming of this creature. Thanks mum for the gift.

The first bloom is just starting to fade, shrivel, wither and die… of course, that’s another part of the story…

 

 

 

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Still outside, it’s been some time…

Sometime around 1997, I wrote the piece below.  

‘We’re going outside and we may be some time’

I reflected back on it eight years ago. I wrote about trying to understand the idea of seeking pilgrimage, finding something significant, central to or ‘at the heart of’ a person’s worldview. A seeking to discover, understand, or be healed? A ‘quest’ for counsel or understanding.

But as I say in the writing, for all the ghosts, memories alone do not hold what I’m looking for. What am I looking for? I said to a Cornish friend recently “I miss the sea”, but do I? Yes, the sea can be a tonic “Coasts are liminal places – the edge of the known, opportunity… routes to somewhere…”  But what really are we all seeking? As we know, everything you ever want, everything you ever need is right in front of you. The greatest show is right here right now.

 

Taking me back to my Cornish roots again… I recently watched the much-acclaimed film ‘Bait’, created and directed by Cornishman Mark Jenkin. I was apprehensive as it’s had a lot of film-world applause. It’s not mainstream. It’s arguably art more than entertainment. But personally, I loved it. Not just the film itself, but the form and nature of the creation is resonant and leaves a lot of energy in the air. All good. 

Mark Jenkin said in an interview with Mark Kermode “…they’d become Cornish by being away {outside?}…” 

The film triggered ghosts and memories to come alive, but what to do with ghosts and memories?

I don’t know. Any ideas?

 

‘We’re going outside and we may be some time’
Twenty-five years I grew, nurtured on Cornwall and the Cornish manner, the Cornishness that is now part of me. I still day-dream, of a ‘T’ shirt that announces “I’m Cornish and proud of it…” …is that all I have to cling to? (I haven’t even got this day-dream of mine).
I spent a childhood full of Cornwall’s riches: pebbles a sand, fIzzypop in cans, wind and rain, tunnels, holes, alleys & bunkers, vast sun-scorched gorse torched views, I could see both coasts from our bathroom window.
Spirits of the sea always whisper to me, the loudest whispers I’ve ever heard. I’ve heard it in Leicestershire, Crewe and Nice, I saw a little red boat barely afloat.
I cried at the beauty surrounding me as the holidayers screamed and sizzled and I laughed. I sat alone at the end of the phone, I ran with the gang, at low tide, across St Ives Bay, on new years day. We drank and we sang and played in the band. Gran bought saffron buns at Sunday-school treat, and pasties and pasties and pasties. Slept in the snow on the rocks on Carn Brea, laughed at what nan a grandad would say (that’s not the grandad that died in the fishing boat accident). Ate winkles with pins and vinegar picked from Porthleven harbour, got filthy. Held on tight as the storm wind rips so hard it bites. Sat in a haystack in the sun and got covered in mites. I’ve lay for hours and been soaked up by the whole of Mounts Bay, on the clearest ever, hottest ever, hottest ever day. Walked home at midnight from to Camborne from Hayle, met a girl in Redruth and another in St Just, got drunk in Crantock, earnt a wage in St Ives ‘ saw a dream in St Austell, learnt some verbs in Fowey… grew towards man from boy in Cornwall… 
…only, they’re all memories.
I return and see the most rugged of faces smile and share the day like children returning to play, waves so worn from years of scorn, skies so blue they seem brand new. A scarred town refuses to frown, yet sings and raises its glasses, everywhere I look I see me and I see pasty smiles, rugby miles, unique Cornwall style saying this is us but we do say we.
I’ve moved away now, don’t know why, but I know I can’t go back. Jane’s not there, Craig’s gone, David’s moved off, So has Jon. Matthew’s in Manchester, Lisa’s in Suffolk, Richard’s in Cardiff, Kay’s in Bath, Lee is in Luton and Mark is in Crewe, and I’m in Leicester for something to do. Cornwall, in essence, has everything, God and the Devil are surely within. but it hasn’t got what I’m looking for. . . . what am I looking for?
I’m going outside and I may be some time…