A True Story…

The cycling kettle and the meandering pot…

(a true story, however the names of the individuals have been changed to avoid conflict)

A kettle was cycling along the other day and approached an inattentive pot crossing the road with her two little pottlettes.
The pot was unaware of the peddling kettle as her gaze was remote and her two pottletts wandered aimlessly.
The kettle hollered – “oi!”… “Oi!”… “OI!”, three calls, with increasing vigour, the kettle boomed alarm as he approached her on a collision course to certain strife.
At the last minute, disaster was avoided as the pot turned to face a recoiling kettle, cycling afore her nose!
With exasperation the kettle passed, bewildered by the disregard of the pot for the busy road and the misdirection of her attention, especially with her little pottletts in tow!
Such incidents alarm the kettle and alas frustration got the better of him as he left the scene and in annoyance he uttered “for f***’s sake”. Perhaps he knew better of it but, the adrenalin of a cycling kettle is hard to contain.
I guess the pot was thankful for being alerted to potential fate of her and her offspring but the language of the kettle was too much to entertain as the pot shouted with gusto “watch your language you TW*T!”.

Happy daze.

“then you show us how”…
replied the crablets to daddy crab
as he told them to
“walk straight my children”… 

In Arabic “The camel cannot see the crookedness of its own neck”
In Basque “The blackbird to the crow: Black tail!”
In Bengal “The Sieve tells the needle to mind the hole in its back!”
In Bulgaria “The starving are laughing at the toothless!”
In Burma “The Son is one month older than the father”
In Croatia “The owl mocked the tit for having large eyes”
In France “The hospital that laughs at charity” and “The shovel mocks the poker”
In Hungary “The owl says the sparrow has a large head”
In Indonesia “The thief shouting robber”
In Italy “The ox calling the donkey horned” or a “A rag speaking ill of a cloth”
In Japan “Eye wax laughing at snot”
In Spain “The donkey talking about ears”
In Venezuela “An armadillo tells a turtle it is too hard shelled”
In Sweden “Sweep clean in front of your own door first”
In Vietnam “Dog ridicules cat for being hairy”
Thanks Wikipedia for these similar idioms.