cycling – Page 2 – Jules P Richards

The cycling kettle and the meandering pot…

(a true story, however the names of the individuals have been changed to avoid conflict)

A kettle was cycling along the other day and approached an inattentive pot crossing the road with her two little pottlettes.
The pot was unaware of the peddling kettle as her gaze was remote and her two pottletts wandered aimlessly.
The kettle hollered – “oi!”… “Oi!”… “OI!”, three calls, with increasing vigour, the kettle boomed alarm as he approached her on a collision course to certain strife.
At the last minute, disaster was avoided as the pot turned to face a recoiling kettle, cycling afore her nose!
With exasperation the kettle passed, bewildered by the disregard of the pot for the busy road and the misdirection of her attention, especially with her little pottletts in tow!
Such incidents alarm the kettle and alas frustration got the better of him as he left the scene and in annoyance he uttered “for f***’s sake”. Perhaps he knew better of it but, the adrenalin of a cycling kettle is hard to contain.
I guess the pot was thankful for being alerted to potential fate of her and her offspring but the language of the kettle was too much to entertain as the pot shouted with gusto “watch your language you TW*T!”.

Happy daze.

…“then you show us how”…
replied the crablets to daddy crab
as he told them to
“walk straight my children”…

In Arabic “The camel cannot see the crookedness of its own neck”
In Basque “The blackbird to the crow: Black tail!”
In Bengal “The Sieve tells the needle to mind the hole in its back!”
In Bulgaria “The starving are laughing at the toothless!”
In Burma “The Son is one month older than the father”
In Croatia “The owl mocked the tit for having large eyes”
In France “The hospital that laughs at charity” and “The shovel mocks the poker”
In Hungary “The owl says the sparrow has a large head”
In Indonesia “The thief shouting robber”
In Italy “The ox calling the donkey horned” or a “A rag speaking ill of a cloth”
In Japan “Eye wax laughing at snot”
In Spain “The donkey talking about ears”
In Venezuela “An armadillo tells a turtle it is too hard shelled”
In Sweden “Sweep clean in front of your own door first”
In Vietnam “Dog ridicules cat for being hairy”
Thanks Wikipedia for these similar idioms.

Toyah the Toyota is gone…

Toyah the Toyota has served us very well since 2000 – 12 years of reliable motoring.

But I have just sold her to a new owner. We are a one car (one bike) family.

I bought my first car in the late 1980’s- A 1963 Volkswagen Beetle called Beatrix. (You never forget your first!)

I bought a second VDub Beetle called Lemon a few years later. (yes she was Yellow)
A few years later, I thought I was a bit more grown up with a Ford Orion (no name).
And then a Mazda 626 – great car! If a but ropey!
I think I had a few carless (and careless!) student years.
I then bought a Ford Escort, called Freddy.
And then in 2000 I bought Toyah the Toyota…

And then last February (2011) I started riding my bike to work and Toyah was a once a week affair, usually Emma taking her to work.

We’ve put it off for 6 months, but over the winter she was used less than once a week and we have finally said goodbye.

For the next year I will hopefully save:
Insurance £210, Tax £125, and MOT £40: that’s £375 over the year.
By cycling to work I will not buy £50+ worth of petrol a month: that’s >£600 over the year.
Of course there’s servicing and wear and tear which with a car can be considerable – but the ancillary costs for a bike are less.

But let’s just say I hope to save £900 over the coming 12 months.

And then there’s the exercise and perhaps immeasurable health benefits: a good aerobic activity twice a day.
The daily endorphin hits are invaluable. Read more here

Happy daze?