Back with a fuller set of sails.
I have hesitated to post this but here it is for the journal…
After more than 5 years on reduced rigging, I am now again finally trying a fuller set of sails.
Due to a mixture of poor seniority, poor conditions, poor moral, and my failure to see away from the ship, the demands of sailing with a full set of sails left me breathless and were too much for me. With help from true friends, I took steps to de-rig. Over a period of time, Citalopram took the winds out of my sails enabling a little more control.
Earlier this year the foundering ship sank and left it’s crew to find their own way to shore.
Over a few years, and with Citalopram’s help, I have been able to slowly de-rig, deduce, defocus…
After the ship was left to founder, and after much contemplation, cbt, nlp, mindfulness, good friends and the love from a great wife, I’ve now rerigged, reduced, and refocused…
With winds back in my sails, I have recently, after 5 years, finished with Citalopram.
I am still far from knowing what’s around the corner. However, the many simple yet transformative things I have been fortunate to discover in the ports I have visited over the last few years, have been treasurable.
Small things, words, glances, smiles, and truths… As sure as breath follows breath, we can try to be less mindless and more aware. More present, awake, attentive, non-judgemental. Less ego, more soul.
The essence of what we are, and what we find, can drive our sails. We need not hoist competing, controlling and comparing sails, but bend to the breath we find.
Contemplate winds of change. Commune rather than compare… through simple practices, we can move beyond competition, closer towards a truer way, with unknown depths and great potential.
There will be storms, there will be calm, there will be doldrum, there will be icebergs, but there’s also the albatross.
So with a fuller set of sails, I wait for new winds as sure as breath follows breath.