In the shelter of each other…

It is in the shelter of each other that people find sanctuary.

My attention was recently drawn to the above adaption of the Irish saying, “It is in the shelter of each other that people live”
For me, it’s often an opportunity to relax that brings on a longing for sanctuary.
“Oh please no,” I hear you say, “not again.”
Yup, that’s what I say too!
Trying to describe feelings or thoughts really is counterproductive, it’s sometimes just to heavy to conceive. There’s no specific challenge to be accomplished, but just a frustrating void of failure and sense of unworthiness – I’m not going into that now.
“Oh stop mawdling in misery and count your blessings, you don’t know how lucky you are – you’ve never had a hard day in your life, get over it loser.” I hear some say.
I actually find that no logic, arse-kicking or backslapping makes much difference.
I hate the idea of labelling myself and really don’t want to live up to expectations… But in 2010 I was diagnosed with serious depression.
Although it is not fully understood what causes depression, an imbalance of chemicals in our brain is thought to be a factor. The SSRI drug that I have been taking for a year now, works by regulating the levels of a chemical called serotonin; this eases the symptoms of depression and feelings of panic.
Even after taking Citalopram for a few days, it significantly transformed my mood and attitude – this was after months of serious symptoms and concern. After a season, I stepped off the dose but after a fortnight symptoms reoccurred and GP suggested continuing with a reduced dose.
And so a year on and I wish I was not taking tabs but I am. I still sense the need for a wet fish and a coffee.(notes)
I do wish I could move away from the need to disconnect, but without the shelter of others disconnection is just a way of finding sanctuary.
No man is an island but without a means of shelter my island’s sanctuary is at least a pale vapid something.
I’ll try to keep an eye out for the passing Good Ship Sanctuary.
(Learn to swim boy!)

(Addition; just watched ‘bird song’, that throws a whole new spanner in the works.)